Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Monday, November 01, 2004

Twinkle up your ass Mister President you shit

Ok, now that I have bared my soul it’s back to where I belong writing horrid things about other people. Hopefully by tomorrow at midnight I will be able to be refer to Georgie as our soon to be ex-fuckfaced excuse for a President instead of the how in the name of Christ did this guy get re-elected Commander in Chief.

For now here’s a lullaby about our President to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star that you can sing yourself to sleep with tonight….

Crashing drunk inside your car
The Devil asks you what you are
A stupid shit is your reply
My dad is rich so I just get high

I like to drink and toot some coke
My wife thinks I’m working what a joke
Nothing will I ever be
I’m the stupid Bush you see

Devil says I have a deal
You can be the Prez for real
What you say how can that be?
Who would elect a fool like me?

Just sit back and let me work
Close your mouth you fucking jerk
I can make you President
Just you bet your last red cent

Well what is it I have to do?
Won’t I owe my soul to you?
No no no you silly fool
Soul selling is just a media tool

I have another deal in mind
Not your soul just your behind
Park the car right over here
We’ll sign the deal upon your rear

Bend right over this Chevy hood?
I’d read the contract if I could
Hey what’s going on back there?
Why are you gripping all my hair?

Don’t you mind me right back here
Think of the White House for four years
Just grit your teeth and you will see
I’m teaching you your philosophy

When you’re Prez just try to look calm
Talk real tough but use aplomb
Scare the people half to death
Make them scared for their last breath

And just when they put their trust in you
Do this like I do to you
Pat their heads and fill their glass
Then drill them squarely up the ass

Now you can be the President
Your ass has surely paid the rent
Have fun bringing the Apocalypse
And don’t forget all of my tips

Georgie Georgie what will you be
The leader of the world you see
Lead it right into the ground
You assfucked fuckfuckfaced stupid clown

Oh my God that really stings
But hey I get to run these things
I can start fun stuff like wars
My dad's mean friends will be my whores

All my pals will think I'm swell
When I pay them really well
You don't like it you're a terrorist
Just like Nixon I'll have lists

Sure I'm getting fucked right now
But I will fuck them back and how
And actually this isn't all that bad
This is how mother always fucks dad

I can't wait to be the man
I have all these awesome plans
So just get ready here I come
Me and you will have some fun

And just when you think you've had enough
I can think of lots more stuff
You want more jammed up your rears
Just keep yelling "FOUR MORE YEARS!!!"

G'night kids, don’t forget to vote tomorrow!!!


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