Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Have a nice weekend

I'm gonna be out increasing the world's population for a few days so the tip-tapping on the keyboard will be limited. But hey, let's hear it for me for having sex at least one time that I can verify through DNA evidence!

I'll get back to it as soon as I get the diaper thing straightened out I promise. I will leave with a letter to the POTUS and a few quick thoughts.

Dear Mr. President,

Hey partner, you kinda came on a bit dopey again last night. If sexual orientation is a choice when did you make yours? Did you wake up one day and think,

"Well Dubya, what's it gonna be.....wiener or a lady's dirty place...hee hee...hmmm....well the wiener is strangely enticing. Hey daddy, I have a big decision to make...should I want to have sex with men or women....what's that..just do what you did and have sex with a woman that looks like a man?!?! WOW! My daddy is a straight up FUH-REEK!!! Well I suppose I should lean towards women...I can take care of that wiener thing by being a male cheerleader in college and loving on my momma....she looks like Dick Butkus in a house dress for Christ's sake.....OK.....WOMEN FOR ME....I think!!!! Hey mom can I get one of your special hugs? My brain hurts again!!!!"

Is this really something that you don't have a concrete opinion about? It must be excellent to have a mind free of thought, insight, conscience, rationale or a single firing synapse and have all that warm gooey space just wide open for praying. Your bleating, cackling shitheaded performance last night was so retarded I was waiting for you to muss up your hair and start singing songs about your mean parents.

I hope you get a festering concertina wire hemmhoroid in the shape of the cross and it burns your asshole bloody and raw for the next 19 days until the country has the decent fucking sense to fire your fucking idiotic ass and send you back to Barbara's oil-soaked, ragged out linebacker tit where you belong. And you're supposed to wear different colr ties you stupid fuck.


A concerned citizen

Hmmmm....what else?

I don't have all that much for you today kids, my brain is otherwise occupied with the big events in my life going down in the next 24 hours. It's special. I hope all you people out there that are amazing and wonderful find things in your life that make you feel the way you are because you deserve them.

For the rest of you go eat an ass-sandwich and think about not being a fucking dick all the time.


  • I'd love for you to come play a little over at Blue in the Face--you put some real vigor into your writing and I can easily imagine the devilish glint in your eye. By no means do I want to detract from or absorb the attention into your own excellent blog. But I wanted to lay out a place setting for ya. Accept/decline/call me totally presumptuous, it won’t hurt my feelings. Shoot me your email so I can hook you up with a proper invite. And keep up the bang up work!

    By Blogger The Deceiver, at 12:40 AM  

  • So dig: our friends VDB are openning for Living Colour at the 9:30 this weekend. VD Bad. Didn't they teach that in Health Class? Oh that's right; the Moral Majority Morons on the school board were going to cut funding to the football team if you godless heathens went against nature and taught children to protect themselves by touching themselves in order to employ prophylactics. Touching yourself. The real problem is that these @$$ buggerers are BREEDING. OFTEN. and EARLY. Just like you should vote. Just pull it out and come all over me.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:00 AM  

  • If those bodies ever turn up, you'll probably get a few more verifications and a prison sentence. (I find it hard to believe that I just said that). Anyway, hoping that all is going well with your seed. Heard there was a bit of an inconvienience (I can never spell that fucking word, geez), hope theres no more of that.

    By Blogger Phil Rossi, at 9:19 AM  

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