Cock the vote

Hope everyone's voting on Tuesday.

Whether you want to vote for Kerry or Bush is up to you but exercise your right regardless. My vote is going pointedly for Kerry because I think Bush is a cackling, glassy-eyed, moronic, dog-molesting idiot but we all have our own opinions and I respect yours as long as it's the same as mine. I have friends on both sides of the fence and we all think each other are totally stupid and insane.....why do I have to have such stupid and insane friends when I'm so smart and well grounded?

I was reading a Washington Post chat today with Peggy Noonan (of the Bush campaign) and Donna Brazile (from Kerry) and put my head down on the table and started bashing it slowly over and over again after reading this exchange. Noonan's response pretty much encapsulates why I have a seething vomitous revulsion towards her boss and his jackals. We're talking about the Presidency and she breaks out 10 year old Rob Schneider impersonations?

Ms. Noonan & Ms. Brazile -
Thanks to both of you for participating in these chats. They've been very informative, and more than a little fun. My question, for both of you - Why do you believe your candidate will win on Tuesday?

Donna Brazile: I believe Kerry will carry the 20 states and District of Columbia Gore carried in 2000, plus Ohio, Arkansas and Nevada. New Hampshire looks good too. Donna

Peggy Noonan: Bush. Boooosh. Bombastic Bushkin. The English Patient. El Bushbo. Have I been clear?

Seriously Peggy, go apply some makeup with a chainsaw until you can not be such an arrogant little puffin. Y'know I'm all for a little fun but Jesus Christ, (he's a friend of your boss', you might know him..... blue eyed white guy from the middle east with a beard and robes....has trouble holding loose change in the palms of his hands...his picture is all over the place), can you at least be a little respectful of the small percentage of people who care enough to ask for your worthless opinion on this race? I hope Barbara Bush mistakes you for a burglar at the ranch and hits you over the head with a rubber ball gag and kneecaps you with her "Read My Hips" 14 inch strap-on. You totally deserve it.

For blog material I'm almost wishing that I get "challenged" at the poll on Tuesday by one of the Republicans "Electorate Watchdogs." I have a witty remark all loaded and ready to fire -

Watchdawg - "Excuse me sir, can I see proof of your voter registration?"
Me - "Sorry, I left it at the abortion clinic when me and my life partner went by there to play fungo with some third trimester fetuses after we got finished shooting heroin and screwing each other behind the elementary school. You'll have to go watchdog someone else I guess. Can I have a hug or a lingering tongue-kiss you fabulous brute?"

That would be sweet.

I hope to be in a lighter mood next week but it's not looking good as the polls read right now. I know one thing, I'll be hungover as hell on Wednesday...good, bad or otherwise. If you want to meet at the local bar and watch the election with some really stupid and worthless idiots drop me a line!

How about that, not one single curse word in this whole post. For me that's really fucking impressive!