Republican Porn

This disturbed even me but once I started rolling it took on a life of it's own.

Scene - Living quarters in the Vice President's undisclosed location.

(Pan in)

Dick Cheney, nude, sits pensively on a couch hands all a-twitter watching Neil Cavuto on Fox News. He starts slowly picking at his bellybutton, absent-mindedly at first and then with greater interest rubbing slow deliberate circles around it. Laying his head back on the sofa he starts to caress his gray-hair tufted old man nipples and moans gloriously.

DC - "Tell it like it is Neil.....tell it like it is sweetheart....."

At the click of a doorknob he suddenly bolts upright at 1/4 attention in the nethers.

DC - (gruffly) "Who's there? I left orders not to be interrupted"

Voice off camera - "Ah, but who really gives the orders around here?"

Enter Barbara Bush in a leather corset, holding a five gallon can of peaches (in syrup) and a hairbrush.

BB – “Have you been a good Dick or a bad Dick….Dick?

DC – “Barbara….my God…have you truly left Ashcroft…..for me?”

BB – “Don’t be silly Dickie, you know that Long John and I are shall we say, joined at the hip. It’s the God thing, it makes his a wild animal in the sack when I call him a homosexual….he rails me half to death because he’s scared of going to Hell the silly twit !!! (evil cackle)

BB - This visit is strictly business darling. You look too keyed up on your campaign stops. You’re scaring the swing voters and homosexuals more than they’re scared of Osama you tense little muffin and as sad as it is we need them so I can stay in power. I think you need a little………..relaxation. And who knows how to relax you better than I do, hmmmmmm?”

DC – “Momma….baby has dirty pant, baby has dirty pants.”

BB – “Oh silly boy stop your sniveling. Come to momma and have a snack.”

BB raises can of peaches and with both hands bashes DC over the head with it, splattering peaches syrup, hair and blood everywhere.

DC – “AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGH!!!!! Momma hurts Dickie!!!!!”

BB – “Tell momma who’s in charge….tell momma who’s in charge you bad thing you.”

DC – “AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! Momma is Momma is. No more hitting, baby wants to play pistols and holsters!!”

BB – “Not before you start being a nice boy!!!! Now are you going to make frowny faces when you talk anymore? Are you going to be a sweet boy that looks like he has happy things in his trousers from now on?”

DC – “Yes momma…..can we play…”

BB whacks DC in the groin with the hairbrush

DC – “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

BB – “Now you listen to me!!! I did not go through five sex-change operations and a lifetime being stuck with dickless George Sr. and our witless offspring to have you fuck this up for me. I am one step away from global domination and I will be damned if you and that fruity, male-cheerleading son of mine are going to ruin it. LSITEN TO ME…I want you to go out there tomorrow and win this goddam election because I’m too tired to steal it again and I’ll be damned if I’m going to owe that bitch Katherine Harris any more favors!!! How many Guantanamo detainess have to “go missing” before she finally gets her itch scratched anyway? Now do you HEAR ME LITLLE DICKIE?!??!?!”

DC - “yes momma. Can baby play calf and udders now?”

BB – “Yes darling, just hook up the pulley so I can get my breast out of here and we can play for just a bit.”

DC - “Send in the corps of engineers with a block and tackle and a gallon of Wesson Oil. The first mother has…ummmm….. a wardrobe malfunction that needs attending to.”

DC nuzzles BB’s ample bosom. BB strokes his bald head peacefully then rears a leg back and knees him in the groin.

DC – “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why momma why?”

BB – “Oh I’m sorry dear…….for a moment there I saw you as an imminent threat”

BB and DC – “BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!”

BB – “Come here Mister Vice President…….”

(Pan out to enormously fleshy white bodies embraced on the floor in a glistening sheen of peach juice)