Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Being a dickless dick on the internet(s)

As I age I find that I’m somehow developing a conscience yet am still an immature prick. This has led me to the occasional but unavoidable uncomfortable act of contrition. Since I spout off on this blog all about other people’s shortcomings and overall lameness I figure I had better be willing to own up to my own or else I’ll just be another hypocritical, loudmothed dickhead on the internet. As you will soon find out that’s exactly what I was last week but I hope to not be again. Prepare thy flogging devices all you ruffians for I’m about to bend over and I implore you to take mercy on my tired old ass. 1-2-3, here we go with my own personal tale of shitheaded weenieness and a public apology to the parties involved.

The other day I was in a foul mood comprised of fatigue, malaise and the repeated soul bashing from Chinchilla brained work people when I saw that another blog had borrowed a stupid anecdote I had posted here about Mayor Williams being a lame jokester, (see the post about people threatening people on the internet.) I coulda and shoulda just let it pass in the breeze but I decided to be funny, which is never a good idea for me when I am in a horrific mood, and post a comment on the other blog about them cribbing my stupid ramble.

The guy that write this blog and I have chatted on IM, talked about getting beers, he even helped do some technical stuff on this blog which was certainly cool of him to do. Seeing as how this should be somebody that I try not to be a dick to since he has been cool to me I posted a pissy comment about not getting credited for a joke about Target anyway. Asshole move #1. He unnecessarily mea culpa’d and linked to my stupid joke which I hope served the righteous purpose of making me look like a whiny freak.

Later on that day I was perusing another blog that I profess to hate and ignore but still read every day, blog #2 for this post's purposes. I have asked the guy that writes the blog to leave me out of it (I was subject matter for awhile, not in the most glowing of ways I can assure you) and he agreed to let us go in separate directions.

Now I was already a dick as you have seen and will see again but that doesn’t change the fact that I think blogger #2 is a fantastic pussy and should be gut-punched at every available opportunity by the transvestites I’m absolutely certain he pays to touch his ding-a-ling. He’s an anonymous little shit that talks a bunch of trash on people that really can’t defend themselves against what he has to say so you get three camps of people; the smart and/or lucky ones who either don’t care or don’t know that his blog exists, the sycophantic cocksuckers who kiss his ass all day so they don’t get shit-talked by him, and the worst group which I have found myself in which is people that profess to hate his blog but read it and occasionally have a total lapse of spine and brain function and post some bullshit comment on it thus supporting that which we attest to despise.

That is just lame.

Anyway, blogger #1 is friends with blogger #2 and posted a comment on blogger #2’s site the same day of the stupid Target joke occurence. I had already been an asshole once and wasn’t in any better of a mood so I posted an anonymous and shitty comment in reply to #1’s comment on #2’s page (I hope you can follow this because it’s getting tough even for me), talking shit about #1. Asshole move by me part duex.

Why the fuck would I do that? I have no idea as it’s a total double-edge sword of pussiness. Not only do I anonymously shit-talk a guy that has been nothing but cool to me but I do it on a site that I am supposed to be almost religiously opposed to? I wish I could claim temporary insanity or at least being drunk but what it really was consisted of a lack of character, a mean streak and the supposed security of hiding on the internet. I could just sit back and pretend it never happened and deny it all day long if confronted about it but what good would that do me? I would still know that I had been an asshole and now I would be a cowardly fart on top of that. That’s really not what I want to be, on this blog or in real life so I am here to fess up to being nothing but a small-time prick and I apologize to both blogger #1 for general fuckedness and as much as it pains me to blogger #2 for asking him to leave me out of his bullshit and then jumping in it with both feet when I didn’t have to own up to it by putting my name behind my words.

I’ll leave it up to the two or you to comment on this if you want but won’t post your blog addresses directly, that’s up to you. You know who you are I’m sure. I take full and total responsibility for being a shit so at least I’m a step up on the President of the United States. Hopefully my karma is back in balance and we can move on to talking about what fucking assholes everybody else out there are. That’s a lot more fun than this contrition shit!!!!



  • Dude, it's all good in the neighborhood. We all get sucked under by the shifting sands of the blogospiracy.

    By Blogger The Deceiver, at 9:12 AM  

  • You are a wanker. But aren't all of us drama queens?

    By Blogger Phil Rossi, at 3:59 PM  

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