Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Monday, June 02, 2008


Really, what happened to people?

It's not like I consider myself some tough as leather lion killer, (I love kitties and am way too pretty to be made of leather). I'm not some crusty old bastard that scaled the cliffs during the Normandy invasion, someone who survived the plague or won a streetfight with the bad guys from Roadhouse or any of that kind of thing but I think I'm somewhat resilient, or at least accepting of things that are beyond my control. I was amazed this weekend at how many others seem to not be.

I am of course referring to rain.

I mean, it's rain. What the fuck are you going to do about it? You're on the ground, it falls from the sky, you get wet. Big deal. I was out and about amongst the rabble on Saturday when a monsoon with the sideways rain deal blew in. The hysteria that arose was just bizarre, one woman was running around with her gross hair in her hands screaming to either God or no one in particular, "THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!"

Not acceptable by who's definition? It's FUCKING RAIN you self-absorbed harridan. Rain. Nature. The circle of life, evaporation evaporation the water cycle the water cycle, (from a film strip I saw in the 1st grade, a catchy little ditty there as it has stuck with me all these years).

She was just one of many that were grousing and whining and getting insulted by getting rained on. I thought the whole thing was pretty hysterical, I could have done without the 36 pound underpants that were a side effect of getting soaked like that but otherwise, it was quite comical.

They're drops of water, not flaming dollops of lava or hunks of dogshit that are coming down. Unless you have a dedicated aversion to standing in a shower and follow that course religiously I just don't get the angst. If you do so however, feel free to stay the fuck away from me as I prefer to surround myself with the hygenic and sweet smelling amongst us.

Maybe that whole 40 days and 40 nights thing wasn't such a bad idea. The world could use a bath.

Oh and to the sorority hag with the blistered third degree sunburn all over her back and shoulders, try some SPF or at least putting on a blouse. Oozing puss and cracked red skin just isn't the look that will get Warren from the lacrosse team to slip you that roofie that you're hoping for.

Just saying.


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