You're the meaning in my life

So I’m going to start writing a monthly column for On Tap and I’m trying to think of how to get it started. I pondered doing another fantastically entertaining interview of myself by myself as that tact got this blog going pretty well some time back but I want to break some new ground so I’m shelving that idea.

I wrote a few paragraphs about how I muse about flinging poo like the apes at the Zoo do to people who annoy them at the jerkholes that stand in line to get into Whitlow’s in Arlington. That was funny but after you get past the ape to me corollary it was pretty hard to keep the humor train chugging. Then I started plipping off about my adoration for Hanoi Rocks. That’s always fun but not a great lead-in column. I really need it to sizzle and for some reason many of the lepers out there don't find Finnish dudes playing glam/punk/trash rock sizzling. Idiots, (that means you Doctor Jones).

Of course there’s always the local dickholes in local dickhole bands to write about and I still might go that way. It’s hysterical that into their late 20’s and 30’s these retards think they can shoot off at the mouth about what bands they think suck and are “fags” (whoever isn’t standing next to them at the time) to whatever band dude they’re talking to at the time and that said band dude won’t go running at the first opportunity to reveal to the “sucker” what was said. That leads to lots of “I’ll beat that fuckers asshole off with a baseball bat made out of the petrified cock of God!!!” statements made at band practice until they all end up in the same room and pat each other’s ballsacks and Bro it up about setting up shows together. I have that topic in the back pocket if I can’t come up with other ideas.

I could write about shatteringly important things like politics, religion, hairdos, lotto tickets and the proper way to make a cheesesteak but none of that is flaming the fire.

Hmmmm…………….

Thank God for mirrors and the wonderful inspiration that they supply me.