Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Friday, January 20, 2006

Skins Mark Duex

I left things off at the local yokel bar and the Brokeback Mountain brothers ass-slapping away and everyone yelling at the TV sets.


The game was hotly contested and things were not looking that great for the home team. Memories of games lost at the final moment were sending everyone into throes of stress and distress. It was tight and the brothers Dimm were the tightest of them all. As I related in the last post I had joined the throng at the bar leaving the lovely Mrs. to her taquitos and the company of Uga and Footsie Lisa. The three of them had many laughs at my expense (deservedly) and things were fit to bursting. Something had to break the ice…and the ice got broken.

Well, a table got broken but its close enough I guess.

The Brothers in a throe of exultation over the Redskins holding strong on a Buccaneer 4th down went totally insane. Bro # 1 went sprinting up and down the length of the bar while Bro # 2 bent at the waist like he was trying to pass a gourd and screamed “FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!” over and over. I guess he was getting winded from the wind sprints and needed a break so Bro #1 leapt onto the back of prostate Bro #2. In a maneuver that would have made Tai Bablognia and Randy Who Remembers His Last Name and Who Gives a Shit Anyway envious Bro #2 stood up and simultaneously flipped and spun Bro #1 around and over so Bro #1 was straddling Bro #2, both Bros face to face, with Bro #1’s legs wrapped around the sizable waist of his kin.

It was awesome until gravity, momentum and alcohol took over.

Bro #2 held strong for a few seconds but the weight of his Bro was soon to much to bear. He lurched to his left, wobbled, stood and them both Bros went crashing into a table about five feet over. The table flipped, the patrons that were slowly dying there scattered and glass and cheap booze went everywhere. Chaos ensued. Much yelling and gesticulating and of course Bro hugging finished off the game watching experience.

And that as they say was that. We bailed after the game, at sushi, stopped off at another bar where some dumb drunk dick was buying rounds of shots for the bar. I’m sure he was thrilled when he looked at his $900 bar tab the next day.


So the Skins are out and now I have to slog through another interminable baseball season before I can get my hopes up and dreams crushed by the Snyder Banditos. Such is the life of the fan.


Post a Comment

<< Home