Hey Tommy Check That One Out!!!!

I’m talking to this guy, I can’t really name the circumstances as there are niceties to maintain but I can give the gist. Basically there are some folks who just refuse to progress as time marches on. Sure they’re thought of as dumbasses by most forward thinking folks but as far as I can tell they just don’t care. How awesome is that? Said fellow is 100% non-apologetic about his love of hair metal and all the surrounding elements of that lifestyle.

Spandex – HELL YEAH!!!!!!
Poison – STILL ROCKING!!!!
The Crue – SEEN EVERY TOUR SINCE SHOUT AT THE DEVIL!!!!
Guitars – I STILL LOVE ME A B.C. RICH WARLOCK AND HAVE THE TATTOO TO PROVE IT!!!!
New Music – JUST SOUNDS LIKE WHINEY ASS BULLSHIT TO ME!!!
Coldplay - NEVER HEARD OF 'EM!!!!!

Of course while I’m in the conversation I’m thinking he’s a terrible dope but I thought that people like him were dopey back in the 80’s too so it's nothing new. Despite the silliness of the whole thing I found myself having a level of respect for him in the fact that he is absolutely secure in what he likes and has no thought of pretending otherwise. You would never see this guy wearing a Minor Threat t-shirt and pretending that he went to Wilson Center shows back in the day or some such nonsense. He’s crying for the good old days of seeing poofter coiffed bands like Mannekin and MisFit Alley, Wrathchild America, Child’s Play, Nasty Passion, (of which I had a brief affiliation), Fuzzy Lipstik, KAGE, Shotgun, Havoc, KrankKall, Medusa and the rest of the gang that bashed it out at places like the Copa, Hammerjack’s, Maxim’s, Manny’s and the legendary Tiki Fala here in the Old Dominion and up Charm City way. To him those aren’t nostalgic times, they’re sorely missed what the fuck happened goddamit I’m not giving up you shitheads baby help me squeeze this leg in this here pair of tiger strip pants so I can go kick some goddamn ass.

“WHAT VINCE WHERE?!?!?!?!”

I wish more folks had that kind of drop dead clarity about themselves. He’s the kind of guy that people are crying for on Capitol Hill. If Kerry had a smidgen of the personal resolve and clarity about his positions on the issues of the day that my man has about the awesomeness of L.A. Guns George W. would be safely back at the ranch freebasing with his niece and nephews and the U.S. of fucking A might not be in quite the pickle that it is at the moment.

So fly the flag proudly my friend, rock and roll will never die as long as we have warriors like you fighting the good fight and keeping alive the flame of Harleys, leather pants, Jack Daniels and gratuitous shots of lingerie clad models getting soaked in a rain shower in bad videos while the singer tries to look tough even though he’s got on more makeup than Tammy Faye on Sunday. I might think you’re a nincompoop but at least you have conviction.

Conviction……

Now there’s a kickass band name if I ever heard one!!!!!!!