Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

every rose has it's thorn

I just can't take my eyes off this page....maybe that's the point and if so I guess I'm the sucker born every minute. This damn thing is like crack. Crack that makes you laugh unstoppably. From skunk guy to sensitive meathead guy sucking in his gut.....it's OutrageouS! I mean, who decided the rose was the key to the image of the guy on the left? It's pretty obvious that singer guy has done some serious mirror time with the cover of Jane's Addiction's XXX record and ummm, well, the other dudes all faceplanted into mom's mascara bucket to get their point across but the rose? Is that classified as an honest to god prop? That's a Celine Dion affectation dude, it's not rocking for a hot young faux punk rock stallion to look sad and hold a rose. You're in the...whatever band you're in...not rick Astley's backup band!!!! Get it together....go strap on a codpiece made out of a circular saw blade and light your junk on fire if you want to do the rock theater thing. Kids these days....sheesh. You're making Voodoo Blue look masculine!

Apparently you have to be a myspace member to see what the hell I'm talking about. You luddites and non-hipsters can take a peek by taking a dip into the world wide web the pool of sadness and pop rocky lonliness.

The hit single is called "Butterface!" STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!!!!!!

I can hear it now....backstage at the club....macking on a 15 year old drunk on two wine coolers and an unhealthy Good Charlotte obsession...Thorny McRoseholder breaks out the rap:

"Hey baby, please hold my rose while I strap on my axe and rock your world....but please don't look at my tears...they hold the secret to my broken heart. It's alright sweetheart...I'll be OK....it's just that life can be a big cereal bowl of heartbreak and I seem to be eating breakfast three times a...(cell phone rings)...Oh hold on a second baby......hello......jesus mom no, I told you I was going to borrow....no I can't bring it home.....no...no.....dammit...no....can't you just go to CVS and buy some more....no......I'll pay you back....I will....I have to......mom.......no I am not THAT WAY and you don't have to say anything to the ladies at church....are you crying.....mom.....stop.....lots of guys wear eyeliner....... like lots....like ummmm....well like lots of people I know...OK...OK......I have to go I have to go I have to go I have to go.....ok.......yes...around 2:30.....I KNOW IT'S LATE MOTHER....I have to go...ok.....I love you too......even though what...you love me even though what.....I....I have to go....goodbye mom......OK......goodbye....hey baby....like I was saying.....so I talk to Joel and Benji about the depth of our soul bruises and shit all the fucking time and.....have you bought the Butterface single yet....it's OK...I cry when I'm alone and I hear it too....how old did you say you were again?"

Haha. The comments under Thorny McRoseholder are fucking priceless. From the 16 year old myspace chicks -


*Channelle‚ô•Nicole*
cutie pie!<3
*CASSY *
REOWR.That's sexy. :)
bianca
marry me?
Jessica
how adorable. Can I have that rose?
Love is not like anythingEspecially a fuckin knife
You have got most pretty hair <3and i`ll have the rose if noone else wants it ;)
Chelsea
that puppy dog look is so sexy and the eye liner is hott and the rose adds a nice touch latyerzx~chelsea
SWEET REVENGE
aww. ..how cute!!
briana
look at those puppy eyes u r sexy


From the one dude not in the band to leave a comment:
Joe
you shouldnt try to be emo...seriously emo is for fags and you guys have some potential... just dont go down that road

I have to stop now or I'll never escape.

Haha.

7 Comments:

  • oh holy CHRIST that is funny. that might be the funniest worst set of band pictures ever.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:20 AM  

  • dude, that was funny as shit...best part: *cell phone rings*.....classic!!!!!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:30 AM  

  • OK, I was wrong, even better part *lots of guys wear eyeliner* in small print to show him whispering....holy SHIT, that was funny

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:32 AM  

  • Dude, Genius. And that kid in the bottom left panel clutching his head. I think he wants to be Robert Smith but it looks like he's realised how fucking lame those photos are and is clutching his head "Oh No! What have we done" stylee

    By Blogger tideliar, at 12:53 PM  

  • You're just jealous 'cause they turned down your request to be added to their "Friends List". 8^|

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:13 PM  

  • Dammit you figured me out, I haven't stopped crying since. REOWR!!!! That shit is still making me laugh. Will you marry me? I love your hair!

    haha

    By Blogger Castor OiL, at 2:36 PM  

  • Your hair is great, by the way.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:31 AM  

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