Castor Oil...sickeningly good

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Clothes do make the man they say

Hanover Shoes is going out of business, (at least the one near me) tomorrow so I went in today to check out the clearance stuff. Five pairs of shoes and a bit later I was back hobbling through the mall, (five shoe boxes is more cumbersome than one would think), happy with my fantastic bargains and really nice new shoes. Kenneth Cole's, Bostonian's, Clark's, some italian name I can't spell.....I am hooked up! My neighbor Billy went yesterday so our block is very swankily shod at the moment.

How this kind of happiness has crept upon me I have no idea as I was a slob almost my entire life. Over the last few years however I have been going through progressive stages of clothes buying mania including a VERY bad shiny shirt stage. I am now comfortably into pretty good off the rack but high quality clothes snobdom and it’s getting worse and worse. I have jeans that cost as much as my first bass guitar, shirts that come with special boxes and extra buttons, nifty shoes and boots that actually warrant shining and aren’t made of some odd faux-leather petroleum byproduct and all sorts of other accessories that ten years ago I would have been mortified at the thought of buying.

I also get my hair cut at a salon and dig trying out pore cleansers and moisturizers.

The flip side to this is I am loathe to throw anything away so I have pounds of clothes I will never wear again but can’t bring myself to get rid of. I did donate the shiny shirts to Salvation Army so somewhere a poor waif is warm and cozy even if he does look like a gay bowler. I think I have to just leave it up to someone else to come purge my closets for me and leave me with a functional and manageable wardrobe. This scares me though as the last time someone “cleaned up my closet” they threw away all of my awesome Iron Maiden and Hanoi Rocks t-shirts and left me with shit like “LIFE’S A BEACH AT OBX!!!”

Yeah..it was bad.

Course now that I have all these new shoes I have to go get clothes to go with them.

TO THE MALL!

(Lord I want to beat my own self up sometimes. How do you people resist?)


10 Comments:

  • Takes notes ladies and gents: This is how a true metrosexuals rants.

    Oh, and if ya don't know what a . . . ahem . . . "metrosexual" is, joe bob says look it up:

    http://www.wordspy.com/words/metrosexual.asp

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:10 PM  

  • I wasn't ranting I was musing. This is ranting...

    I swear to Christ if I get stuck behind another driver with Maryland plates going 47 miles an hour on the beltway I am going to go find Cal Ripken and shove him straight up Bob Ehrlic's ass and then track down Barbara Mikulski and throw undersized and hungry blue crabs at her until the craggy flesh is picked from her dwarfish skeleton.

    K?

    By Blogger Castor OiL, at 3:44 PM  

  • Metro...Homo...it's so close, it's a tough call. You've more than made up for the mentioned closet cleaning by tracking down yet another Hanoi Rocks t-shirt. Now all you need is a Metallica "KILL EM ALL" or "METAL UP YOUR ASS" t that's a couple sizes too small so it cuts off the circulation to your hands and exposes your belly button. That would be cool.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:21 AM  

  • I said that's how a metrosexual rants, not how a redneck rants. Clearly Steve you have mastered by genres of rant. I guess that makes you bi-ranty.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:18 AM  

  • You know, just because YOU want to squeeze someone's sponge, doesn't make them a sponge squeezer....

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:30 PM  

  • Yeah you got that right motherfucker! What were you talking about?

    I have a very bad hangover. Very bad. And there is an icestorm coming. Not looking like a good day for me today.

    By Blogger Castor OiL, at 1:33 PM  

  • Your just trying to keep up with the neighbors... one day you might have a basement as big as the house across from the mansion on the hill. Castor is the only person I know with basement envy.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:46 PM  

  • basement envy, squeezing sponges, metrosexuals . . . sickeningly good fun.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:33 PM  

  • Damn you and your extended subterranean labyrinth. I curse you and your indoor lawn furniture bar and extra fireplace to the depths of Hades. Can I walk over and curse it in person and drink your bourbon?

    By Blogger Castor OiL, at 10:48 AM  

  • Only if we can come to your heavenly oasis in the sky and have a sleep-in for world peas like John and Oko did. The prophet turned protestor how does that sound?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:30 PM  

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