Shirtless fuckfaces on mySpace
It’s a fantastic thing all across mySpace land…the no shirt WOOT WOOT HOLLA dudes.
You all know them if you waste time there when you should be working Wads of buttwads all flexed out while sucking it in with a fine sheen of some sort of cooking oil rubbed all over them. It's the grimace that gets me, you can tell that they were just about to stroke out from the pressure of popping each of the packs in the six pack out to full pop potential but to maintain the HOLLA lifestyle they have to smile all the way through it. Impressive really, these oily men were made to be tortured.
The HOLLAheads are not without merit however. They seem to be quite full of love as evidenced by their sensitive comments on myspace girl’s pages. It’s a veritable army of da playaz wif heartz of gold. " MUCH LOVE SWEETIE, THANKS FO THE ADD, WOOT WOOT HOLLA!!!! can be used as a baseline for thousands of witty, sexy and loving comments for all the fine azz bitches on mySpace.
Now let me give a big disclaimer…if I woke up one day with abs of steel I would be totally psyched and lay down and roll quarters across them and bounce superballs off my gut and shit like that(that's what I imagine the DOODZ do when they ain't out being big luv playaz or working at Dairy Queen). It does seem that to get the bod you have to make a deal with Satan. From 1 parts thoughful investigation of myspace sites and 99 parts mean-spirited conjecture I am pretty sure the dealmaking with Satan goes a bit like this:
Bill – “Man, I just can’t get rid of these love handles. I have an IQ of 185, a good future and so much to give to the world. If only I had the well defined abs to go with my magnificent talents and burning ambition to make the world a better place.
Satan – “Word up Billiam, I can give you crunchy abs if you render to me nothing but your brain and your soul.”
Bill – “Hmmm……well……my folks worked hard to tach me what is REALLY important in life…..so..."
Satan - "Your choice but the fine azz....."
Bill - "OK you sold me, I guess I can still do my good deeds and roll like a pimp with a stomach that looks like a pan of freshly cooked Pillsbury biscuits. Will this hurt?" POOF!!!
Satan – “There you go, thanks for the soul and brains you stupid asshole”
Blz4Lyf – “YOU MY DAWG HOMIE…WOOT WOOT HOLLA…..2 FINE FO DAYTIME….YOU SO BEAUTIFUL I WANNA SHOW YOU LOVE SEXY GIRL. HAHA…ROFLMFAO….WOOT WOOT HOLLA!!! <3……. PUNK AZZ BITCHZZZ DON’T BE HATIN ON THIS BOD…I LIKE KITTENS AND CRUNKING WIF MY BOYZ IN DA “DREAMTEAM” CREW. DREAMTEAM 4 LYF!!!! WOOT WOOT WOOT HOLLA FO DAT DOLLA. THANKS FO THE ADD SWEETIE, HIT ME UP ANYTIME!!!!"
Satan – "Wow. Even I feel like a dick when I do that."
Blz4Lyf – "LOLROFLMFAO!!! HAHA YOU DA DAWG. WOOT WOOT HOLLA!!!"
Being scared of Satan and not really fully understanding the playaz lingo I think I’ll keep my brain and soul and shit where they are and just try to get out and run and not act like such a walrusy fatass all the time if I want to be not flabby. I have to admit that the thought of woot wooting wif all da fyn azz bitches can be tempting at times. To roll wif my boyz, all of uz wif no shirtz on getting’ crunk and listenin’ to Fat Joe and Hoobastank….truly those would be special thuggy lovable questionably hetero good times.
Especially if we rolled in a lowered Honda Civic.
Woot woot!
You all know them if you waste time there when you should be working Wads of buttwads all flexed out while sucking it in with a fine sheen of some sort of cooking oil rubbed all over them. It's the grimace that gets me, you can tell that they were just about to stroke out from the pressure of popping each of the packs in the six pack out to full pop potential but to maintain the HOLLA lifestyle they have to smile all the way through it. Impressive really, these oily men were made to be tortured.
The HOLLAheads are not without merit however. They seem to be quite full of love as evidenced by their sensitive comments on myspace girl’s pages. It’s a veritable army of da playaz wif heartz of gold. " MUCH LOVE SWEETIE, THANKS FO THE ADD, WOOT WOOT HOLLA!!!! can be used as a baseline for thousands of witty, sexy and loving comments for all the fine azz bitches on mySpace.
Now let me give a big disclaimer…if I woke up one day with abs of steel I would be totally psyched and lay down and roll quarters across them and bounce superballs off my gut and shit like that(that's what I imagine the DOODZ do when they ain't out being big luv playaz or working at Dairy Queen). It does seem that to get the bod you have to make a deal with Satan. From 1 parts thoughful investigation of myspace sites and 99 parts mean-spirited conjecture I am pretty sure the dealmaking with Satan goes a bit like this:
Bill – “Man, I just can’t get rid of these love handles. I have an IQ of 185, a good future and so much to give to the world. If only I had the well defined abs to go with my magnificent talents and burning ambition to make the world a better place.
Satan – “Word up Billiam, I can give you crunchy abs if you render to me nothing but your brain and your soul.”
Bill – “Hmmm……well……my folks worked hard to tach me what is REALLY important in life…..so..."
Satan - "Your choice but the fine azz....."
Bill - "OK you sold me, I guess I can still do my good deeds and roll like a pimp with a stomach that looks like a pan of freshly cooked Pillsbury biscuits. Will this hurt?" POOF!!!
Satan – “There you go, thanks for the soul and brains you stupid asshole”
Blz4Lyf – “YOU MY DAWG HOMIE…WOOT WOOT HOLLA…..2 FINE FO DAYTIME….YOU SO BEAUTIFUL I WANNA SHOW YOU LOVE SEXY GIRL. HAHA…ROFLMFAO….WOOT WOOT HOLLA!!! <3……. PUNK AZZ BITCHZZZ DON’T BE HATIN ON THIS BOD…I LIKE KITTENS AND CRUNKING WIF MY BOYZ IN DA “DREAMTEAM” CREW. DREAMTEAM 4 LYF!!!! WOOT WOOT WOOT HOLLA FO DAT DOLLA. THANKS FO THE ADD SWEETIE, HIT ME UP ANYTIME!!!!"
Satan – "Wow. Even I feel like a dick when I do that."
Blz4Lyf – "LOLROFLMFAO!!! HAHA YOU DA DAWG. WOOT WOOT HOLLA!!!"
Being scared of Satan and not really fully understanding the playaz lingo I think I’ll keep my brain and soul and shit where they are and just try to get out and run and not act like such a walrusy fatass all the time if I want to be not flabby. I have to admit that the thought of woot wooting wif all da fyn azz bitches can be tempting at times. To roll wif my boyz, all of uz wif no shirtz on getting’ crunk and listenin’ to Fat Joe and Hoobastank….truly those would be special thuggy lovable questionably hetero good times.
Especially if we rolled in a lowered Honda Civic.
Woot woot!
posted by Castor OiL at
9:18 AM
1 Comments:
So. Dead. On.
It's like reality, but not. but then you go to TT's one night and all of a sudden, there's a bikini/fake orgasm contest, and its' reality again.
By
John, at 12:58 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home